Audition Central: Bugsy Malone JR.
Script: Tallulah
SIDE 1
FAT SAM
See, just like normal. That way they won't know we're scared to death... er, I don't mean scared I mean, er... concerned. We buy ourselves a little time. Thinking time, right Knuckles?
(FAT SAM murmers to himself)
Go tell Tallulah we wanna see the new number. We gotta find us someone with some brains, some smarts, a real cerebral type.
KNUCKLES
OK, Boss...
(writing a list)
New number... find brains... Uh, Boss... how do you spell brains?
(KNUCKLES cracks his knuckles as FAT SAM moves to throttle him. They freeze.)
(Lights cross fade to inside the Grand Slam.)
BUGSY
It's all set up, Blousey. Sam'll be down in a minute.
BLOUSEY
I'd better freshen up. I'll be right back.
(TALLULAH has entered.)
TALLULAH
Suddenly everyone wants to be in show business.
BUGSY
Oh, hi, Tallulah.
(TALLULAH is joined by LORETTA, DOTTY, TILLIE and BANGLES.)
GIRLS
Hi, Bugsy.
BUGSY
Hi, Loretta... Dotty... Tillie... Bangles.
KNUCKLES
(entering)
Tallulah, girls, the Boss wants to see your brains. I mean the new number. Pronto.
TALLULAH
OK, girls, get dressed. We gotta number to do.
SIDE 2
GIRLS
Oh, Tallulah!
TALLULAH
I said beat it.
(They leave the way they came. KNUCKLES exits mumbling about brains.)
Long time no see, Bugsy.
BUGSY
Well you know how it is. I've been busy.
TALLULAH
Doing what?
BUGSY
Oh, this and that.
TALLULAH
You're aces, you know that Bugsy? I've always found you kind of special.
BUGSY
Careful, Tallulah, you're racing my motor.
(TALLULAH edges closer.)
TALLULAH
You've got lovely brown eyes.
BUGSY
They'll be lovely black eyes if Fat Sam catches us.
(TALLULAH pouts her lips.)
Tallulah, I'm warning, you... if you come any closer I'll call my lawyer.
TALLULAH
So call him.
SIDE 3
FIZZY
Er - Mr. Sam, about my audition.
FAT SAM
Later, Fizzy, I'm busy right now. Keep practicing... I'll see you tomorrow... I promise you, tomorrow.
FIZZY
But yesterday you said tomorrow, Boss.
(TALLULAH has appeared dressed to the nines, momentarily letting FAT SAM off the hook.)
FAT SAM
Tallulah! You spend more time prettying yourself up than there's time in the day.
TALLULAH
Listen, honey, if I didn't look this good, you wouldn't give me the time of day.
FAT SAM
I'll see you in the car...
(KNUCKLES cracks his knuckles.)
Don't do that, Knuckles.
KNUCKLES
Sorry, Boss, it just slipped out.
(FAT SAM storms off, frustrated. KNUCKLES follows.)
TALLULAH
Night, Fizzy.
FIZZY
Night, Tallulah.