Audition Central: Bugsy Malone JR.

Script: Tallulah

SIDE 1

FAT SAM

See, just like normal. That way they won't know we're scared to death... er, I don't mean scared I mean, er... concerned. We buy ourselves a little time. Thinking time, right Knuckles?

(FAT SAM murmers to himself)

Go tell Tallulah we wanna see the new number. We gotta find us someone with some brains, some smarts, a real cerebral type.

KNUCKLES

OK, Boss...

(writing a list)

New number... find brains... Uh, Boss... how do you spell brains?

(KNUCKLES cracks his knuckles as FAT SAM moves to throttle him. They freeze.)

(Lights cross fade to inside the Grand Slam.)

BUGSY

It's all set up, Blousey. Sam'll be down in a minute.

BLOUSEY

I'd better freshen up. I'll be right back.

(TALLULAH has entered.)

TALLULAH

Suddenly everyone wants to be in show business.

BUGSY

Oh, hi, Tallulah.

(TALLULAH is joined by LORETTA, DOTTY, TILLIE and BANGLES.)

GIRLS

Hi, Bugsy.

BUGSY

Hi, Loretta... Dotty... Tillie... Bangles.

KNUCKLES

(entering)

Tallulah, girls, the Boss wants to see your brains. I mean the new number. Pronto.

TALLULAH

OK, girls, get dressed. We gotta number to do.



SIDE 2

GIRLS

Oh, Tallulah!

TALLULAH

I said beat it.

(They leave the way they came. KNUCKLES exits mumbling about brains.)

Long time no see, Bugsy.

BUGSY

Well you know how it is. I've been busy.

TALLULAH

Doing what?


BUGSY

Oh, this and that.

TALLULAH

You're aces, you know that Bugsy? I've always found you kind of special.

BUGSY

Careful, Tallulah, you're racing my motor.

(TALLULAH edges closer.)

TALLULAH

You've got lovely brown eyes.

BUGSY

They'll be lovely black eyes if Fat Sam catches us.

(TALLULAH pouts her lips.)

Tallulah, I'm warning, you... if you come any closer I'll call my lawyer.

TALLULAH

So call him.



SIDE 3

FIZZY

Er - Mr. Sam, about my audition.

FAT SAM

Later, Fizzy, I'm busy right now. Keep practicing... I'll see you tomorrow... I promise you, tomorrow.

FIZZY

But yesterday you said tomorrow, Boss.

(TALLULAH has appeared dressed to the nines, momentarily letting FAT SAM off the hook.)

FAT SAM

Tallulah! You spend more time prettying yourself up than there's time in the day.

TALLULAH

Listen, honey, if I didn't look this good, you wouldn't give me the time of day.

FAT SAM

I'll see you in the car...

(KNUCKLES cracks his knuckles.)

Don't do that, Knuckles.

KNUCKLES

Sorry, Boss, it just slipped out.

(FAT SAM storms off, frustrated. KNUCKLES follows.)

TALLULAH

Night, Fizzy.

FIZZY

Night, Tallulah.