SIDE 1

BUGSY

Ouch, look where you re going will you. (BUGSY rubs his shin.)

BLOUSEY

I m sorry, I m truly sorry. Oh it s you, Dandruff.

BUGSY

Don t worry, I ve had a shampoo since we last spoke. That baseball bat could be classified as a dangerous weapon you know.

BLOUSEY

My mother made me pack it.

BUGSY

You re a sports nut?


BLOUSEY

It s for protection, in case I get robbed.

BUGSY

You re a singer, right?


BLOUSEY

That depends on your taste in music. I m here about a job.

BUGSY

Did you get the job?


BLOUSEY

They said,  Come back tomorrow.

BUGSY

They always do. What s your name anyway?

BLOUSEY

Brown.


BUGSY

Sounds like a loaf of bread.

BLOUSEY

Blousey Brown.

BUGSY

Sounds like a stale loaf of bread.

BLOUSEY

Keep your jokes behind your teeth, Wisey.

BUGSY

Pleased to meet you. I m Bugsy Malone.

SIDE 2

BUGSY

Can I give you a lift?

BLOUSEY

You got a car?

BUGSY

Er, no.

BLOUSEY

Then how you gonna give me a lift, Buster? Put me in an elevator?

BUGSY

It s a nice night, we could walk. Which way you going?

BLOUSEY

Which way you going?

BUGSY

This way.

(BUGSY points left.)

BLOUSEY

Then I m going this way.

(BLOUSEY moves off right.)

BUGSY

Let me carry your bag at least. Have you eaten?

BLOUSEY

Ever since I was a child.

BUGSY

Then how come you re so skinny, Smartie?

BLOUSEY

I watch my weight.


BUGSY

Yeah, I do that when I m broke too. You hungry?

BLOUSEY

No.

BUGSY

You re not hungry?

BLOUSEY

No, starving.

(As they walk, the scene transitions to a sidewalk café. A WAITER holds the chair out for BLOUSEY to sit down. The action is continuous, as is the dialogue. A surly WAITRESS comes up, chewing gum.)

BUGSY

Are you going back to the speakeasy tomorrow?

BLOUSEY

Er  no, I m gonna try my luck at the Bijoux Theatre.

BUGSY

The Lena Marelli Show?

BLOUSEY

She s walked out. They re looking for a replacement.

BUGSY

Oh, she walks out every week and every week they have auditions and every week she walks back again... But don t let me put you off.

BLOUSEY

You won t. What do you do?