Side 1

JUNIE B.

Last year, I had two bestest friends. First, I had Lucille. Plus, I also had that Grace. Me and that Grace rode the school bus together every single day. Only too bad for us. Because this year, Grace got put in a different room than me. And that was not even fair. But on the bus, we could sit next to each other, just like we always did!

(GRACE and BOBBI JEAN PIPER enter, plopping down on a bus seat together. JUNIE B. taps GRACE on the shoulder.)

Grace... Excuse me, Grace... what kind of shenanigans do you call this, madam? Didn't you see me sitting here?

GRACE

Yes, hi, Junie B. I'm sorry I can't sit with you. But I promised Bobbi Jean Piper I would sit with her today. Okay?

JUNIE B.

No, Grace. Not okay. You can't sit with Bobbi Jean Piper.
You and I have to sit together every single day. Cause we sat together every day last year. And this year shalt be no different!!

MR. WOO

Sit down, please, Junie B.

BOBBI JEAN

You got yelled at!

JUNIE B.

Grrr. Bobbi Jean Piper. Grrr.

(We hear laughter from the seat behind JUNIE B. HERB's

head pops up.)

Who's laughing at me during this very terrible crisis? Herb!!

HERB

You said, "grrr." Ha! That was a good one!

(JUNIE B. storms to his row.)

JUNIE B.

Yeah, only here's the problem, Herbert. Grrr is not actually a joking matter. Plus, I wasn't even talking to you.

HERB

I know you weren't talking to me. No one on this bus ever talks to me. That's because last year I went to a different school. So I don't have any bus friends yet.

JUNIE B.

Well, I used to have a bus friend named Grace, but today I am dropping her like a hot tomato.

BOBBI JEAN

You mean potato.


JUNIE B.

Bobbi Jean Piper wears a diaper!!!

MR. WOO

Sit down, Junie B.!!!

(JUNIE B. plops back down in her seat, frustrated. HERB approaches JUNIE B.)

HERB

Maybe, just for today, I can sit here. Just until you get your bus friend back, I mean.

 

Side 2

JOSÉ

Hola!

JUNIE B.

Huh?

JOSÉ

Whoops! Hola means hello in Spanish. I know two different languages, and sometimes I forget which one I'm speaking.

JUNIE B.

Wow, José! You speak two different languages?

HERB

Cool!

MAY

Big deal. I know Spanish too. I can count all the way to three in Spanish. Does anyone want to hear me?

HERB

Not really.

LENNIE

Not me.

JOSÉ

Me neither.

SCHOOL KIDS

Nope.

MAY

Uno, dos, tres...


MR. SCARY

Good morning, boys and girls!

SCHOOL KIDS

Good morning, Mr. Scary.

MR. SCARY

This morning I have a fun assignment for you.

(He points to big words on the bulletin board.)

I want you to read these words to yourselves... Then, without talking to your neighbor, choose any word from the list and draw a picture of it.

MAY

Oh, goody, goody! I love this kind of assignment, Mr. Scary! I am perfect at not talking to my neighbor!!!

MR. SCARY

That's nice, May. Are we ready everybody, okay... go.

 

Side 3

JUNIE B.

Hello, people! It's time to watch me eat out of my new lunch box!

(Everyone but JUNIE B. goes to stand in the line to purchase lunch.)

Herb - Hey Herb! What do you think you're doing? Why aren't you coming to eat with me?

HERB

I'm buying my lunch today, Junie B.

SHIRLEY

Me too-


LUNCH STUDENT 1

Everyone is buying today, Junie B.

JUNIE B.

I was not actually expecting this development.

(JUNIE B. goes to a table and sits with SHELDON.)

SHELDON

We're the only ones who didn't buy hoagies today.

JUNIE B.

Yes, Sheldon, I know that.

SHELDON

Hoagies are very popular. But I'm not allowed to eat them. I'm allergic to fake meat and cheese.

JUNIE B.

Please wipe your nose.

SHELDON

I'm only allowed to eat food that comes from nature. Also I'm allergic to dairy.