Script
Audition Central: OLD Roald Dahl's James and the Giant Peach JR.
Script: Grasshopper
SIDE 1
LADYBUG
It feels quite wonderful to be free of that wretched hillside.
EARTHWORM
And Spiker and Sponge.
SPIDER
Did you know they killed my fiancé?
LADYBUG
No!
SPIDER
Yes! And then the gigantic one... she ate him.
LADYBUG
Horrible!
(CENTIPEDE snores loudly.)
EARTHWORM
(afraid)
What was that?! What WAS THAT?!
JAMES
It was just Centipede snoring.
CENTIPEDE
(waking)
What? What s going on? Why did the human say my name?
SPIDER
Tell them what happened to you, Centipede.
CENTIPEDE
Blah, who cares.
SPIDER
We re sharing!
CENTIPEDE
Fine! My family was in the sock and shoe racket. We re pretty famous in the bug world. Til Spiker and Sponge sprayed everyone with insecticide in the great raid of fifty-nine.
LADYBUG
Those two monsters hated everything. Even ladybugs. Who doesn t like ladybugs?
GRASSHOPPER
I like ladybugs.
(Awkward silence as LADYBUG and GRASSHOPPER share coy glances.)
JAMES
(a realization)
Spiker and Sponge were horrible to everyone.
CENTIPEDE
Spiker and Sponge were no different than any of you humans.
GRASSHOPPER
Centipede, James is one of us.
CENTIPEDE
That is a human boy. His kind pulls off our legs, or burns us with magnifying glasses! He is NOT one of us! He will NEVER be one of us!
(CENTIPEDE climbs up to the crow s nest, alone.)
LADYBUG
Ignore him, James. His type are pests.
CENTIPEDE
(calling from the ladder)
And your type are snobs!
LADYBUG
James, you haven t said anything about your parents. Where are they?
GRASSHOPPER
They must be very worried about you.
(JAMES becomes silent, staring at the ground. SPIDER, LADYBUG and GRASSHOPPER sense something is very wrong.)
SPIDER
James, it s alright. You can tell us.
JAMES
My parents were in a horrible accident, and now they re... gone.