Script

SIDE 1

KIKI

Oh my God!

CASHIER

Did you see that?

STYLIST

She's got the most perfect Bend and Snap I've ever seen!

PAULETTE

What are you talking about...Bend and Snap...?

SIDE 2

PAULETTE

There. Now you're ready for your big trial. You sure you don't want me to paint little gavels on 'em for ya? When the jury people see those nails, they'll know they can trust ya.

ELLE

Which is more than my team is doing. They're all over me to give up Brooke's alibi.

PAULETTE

Including your-

(does air quotes)

-"friend" Emmett?

ELLE

Paulette, he's just my friend.

PAULETTE

Right. And I could use a friend like that.

( #24 - KYLE THE MAGNIFICENT (PART 1) begins. PAULETTE suddenly sees KYLE and is instantly mute.)

KYLE

I've got a package. For Miss Paulette Buonufonte.

(PAULETTE goes limp at the sight of him, but manages to raise a weak hand. Her hand remains in the air as KYLE approaches.)

The name's Kyle. This is my new route and the first stop of the day. Kinda cool karma, huh?

(ELLE grabs the stylus and signs for the package herself.)

Alrighty, then. Do me a favor? You have yourself a super day.

( #25 - KYLE THE MAGNIFICENT (PART 2) begins. PAULETTE nods awkwardly as KYLE saunters out of the salon.)

ELLE

So talk to him already.

(ELLE hands the stylus to PAULETTE.)

PAULETTE

Right. I can't talk to guys like that. I'm not like you... I got nothing to offer.

SIDE 3

PAULETTE

It's days like today I miss my dog Rufus the most. He's my angel...

(ELLE looks at the photo)

ELLE

Beyond adorable. And no woman should be denied her dog.

PAULETTE

Tell me something I don't know.

(PAULETTE pulls herself together as VIVIENNE and her FRIENDS enter, talk amongst themselves.)

VIVIENNE

So I'll bring the lobster potstickers.

WHITNEY

Perfect. Now that's a party.

(VIVIENNE stops in her tracks when she sees ELLE. ELLE can 't help but perk up and be hopeful at the mention of 'party. ')

ELLE

(can 't help herself, blurts)

There's a party?

(sees VIVIENNE)

Oh. Hello, Vivienne.

VIVIENNE

Hello, Elle.

WHITNEY

Yeah...

(looks to VIVIENNE, nervous)

Next Friday night a few people are getting together...

PAULETTE

Hey, maybe that guy you like'll be there, Elle! You should go!

(Instantly VIVIENNE knows who the guy in question is and embraces the opportunity.)

VIVIENNE

Definitely come. It's a costume party.

ELLE

I love costume parties!

VIVIENNE

Of course you do... Next Friday at eight, 243 Mass Ave. See you there.

ELLE

Thanks, Vivienne.

VIVIENNE and WHITNEY exit.)

PAULETTE

Now go and do this, honey. 'Cause if a girl like you can't win back your man, there's no hope for the rest of us.

ELLE

Thank you for talking me off the ledge, Paulette! You have no idea how much I needed this!

(ELLE and PAULETTE hug and ELLE dashes out to change.)

PAULETTE

Now you go and fight for him!

SIDE 4

PAULETTE

Hey there! Welcome to the Hair Affair.

ELLE

Make me a brunette.

PAULETTE

What? Brunette? Honey-

(gestures to her hair)

-you're a genetic lotto win! Alright, something else is goin' on here. Back up. Paulette's listenin'. Spill.

ELLE

Okay. I'm Elle Woods, and I came all the way out for Harvard Law School-

PAULETTE

That's a good school!

ELLE

I know, right? And I did it to follow my one true love Warner out here and now he's... he's dating this evil preppie.

PAULETTE

So what's she got that you don't got?

ELLE

She's-

(air quotes)

-"serious" with mousy brown hair. Apparently that's what Warner wants. So, you have to make me a brunette.

PAULETTE

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Do you know the number one reason behind all Bad Hair Decisions?