On Friday, August 30th, the MTI office will close at 1 PM ET for the Labor Day holiday weekend and remain closed through Monday, September 2nd. Office operations will resume on Tuesday, September 3rd.
Script
Audition Central: Shrek The Musical JR.
Script: The Three Bears
SIDE 1
FARQUAAD
Boooooooooooooooooo!
(turns to FIONA)
Are we ready, darling?
FIONA
I can t.
(FIONA rushes off.)
PINOCCHIO
That s it! We ve taken your abuse for the last time, Farquaad!
BABY BEAR
Well no more!
WITCH
It ends today!
PIG #1
Power to zee piggies!
MAMA BEAR
We demand our homes back!
PINOCCHIO
And our rightful place in Duloc! Right guys?
FAIRY TALE CREATURES
(ad libbed)
This guy is a sham! He ll pay! Up with fairies! Power to the cookies! (etc.)
FARQUAAD
It ll be a dark day before I let you freaks ruin my wedding!
PINOCCHIO
Freaks, eh? Well, I guess it takes one to know one.
FARQUAAD
What?
PINOCCHIO
Be prepared to have your mind blown.
(PINOCCHIO gestures. The FAIRY TALE CREATURES part, and a very grumpy DWARF steps forward.)
DWARF
Hiiiiii-hoooooooh!
FARQUAAD
(reels a bit)
Daddy?
(The CROWD gasps.)
DWARF
I suppose my invitation was lost in the mail?
FARQUAAD
Well maybe if you hadn t abandoned me in the woods!
DWARF
Abandoned you? You were twenty-eight, and living in my basement!
PINOCCHIO
People of Duloc, your leader if a Halfling!
MAMA BEAR
Which is a lovely thing to be!
FARQUAAD
(tantrum)
I m a king! I m a big man! A big tall giant man with a kingdom!
Not-a-freak! Not-a-freak! I have a castle!
FIONA
(enters with a lantern, which illuminates her face)
Stop the wedding!
SIDE 2
SHREK
What are you doing in my swamp?
PINOCCHIO
Well gosh, we were forced to come here.
SHREK
Forced? By who?
PIG #2
Lord Farquaad! He hoofed und he poofed, und he signed an eveection notice.
SHREK
Huh. Well, not my problem. Now you all need to turn around and go back where you came from.
MAMA BEAR
Go back?! We can t go back!
PIG #1
Farquaad vill turn us into bratvurst!
BIG BAD WOLF
The guy s bad news.
PIG #3
Hey, maybe you could talk to him.
BABY BEAR
Yeah, he ll listen to you! You re big and scary.
SHREK
I m also an ogre, which means I stay on my swamp and avoid large crowds. Or haven t you read the stories?
BIG BAD WOLF
You mean those stories that say I m a big bad wolf?
WICKED WITCH
And the ones that say I m a wicked witch?
(All the FAIRY TALE CREATURES laugh uproariously.)
PINOCCHIO
Or the ones that say I m a wooden boy!
(uncomfortable silence)
What? I m not a wooden boy.
(His nose grows bwoooop.)
I have a glandular condition.
WICKED WITCH
Look here, ogre, I m gonna spell it out for ya. You re the only one tough enough to stand up to that no-good flim-flammer Farquaad.
SHREK
Okay, fine, I get it! Attention all... fairy tale things! I m gonna go see this Farquaad guy right now, and get you all off my land and back where you came from!