Script

SIDE 1

ANNIE

There's the tree house! (The BLACK KNIGHT returns JACK and ANNIE to the tree house ladder.) Thank you, Sir.

JACK

We're sorry to have caused so much trouble.

ANNIE

Yeah, we're sorry we didn't get to pass your test and help you on your quest.

BLACK KNIGHT

But you did.

ANNIE, JACK

We did?

BLACK KNIGHT

You protected the innocent. And you did it without sword or might.

JACK

We did use a flashlight.

BLACK KNIGHT

Yes! You used you wits& and of course, your heart. And this is the mark of true courage. Kneel please.

SIDE 2

ANNIE

I think we're here, Jack.

JACK

We don't even know where "here" is.

ANNIE

Here is a place with a knight who needs our help. And, look, I think I see the castle.

JACK

Oh, yeah, I see it, too& and do you also see that drawbridge& and the moat, the moat that is filled with water? Water that is probably filled with crocodiles!

ANNIE

Then I guess we better not fall in!

JACK

Annie, give me the flashlight so I can find the Pennsylvania book to take us home.

ANNIE

Just because you're my big brother doesn't mean you get to be the boss.

(JACK holds his hand out for the flashlight, ANNIE won't give it to him. We hear the faint sound of #5 - MINSTRELMUSIC #1 and laughter.)

ANNIE

Do you hear that music? Sounds like fun.

JACK

Annie, no-

(ANNIE scurries down the tree house ladder.)

ANNIE

Come on, Jack, I want to go on a real quest.

SIDE 3

JACK

Keep your voice down. These big halls make big echoes.

ANNIE

(whispering)

Right. Hey, maybe sneaking past those guards was our test?

JACK

I doubt it, We haven't even met the Black Knight.

(#9 - MINSTREL MUSIC #2 begins. The JESTER and MINSTRELS enter dancing and skipping with tambourines, whistles, flutes and lutes, making medieval merriment.)

ANNIE

There's the music again. Sounds like a party. Let's follow it.

JACK

Good idea.

(JACK listens for a moment.)

I think it's coming from that way.

(THE ROYAL COURT applauds the MINSTRELS. JACK and ANNIE follow the sound, and stand outside of the entrance to the Great Hall and watch in wonder.)

MINSTREL

Ahh thank you. Thank you, kind friends. And now, it is time for requests! Your Grace?

(DUKE takes center stage, strutting in front of his guests, enjoying his power.)

DUKE

Hmmm. What shall we have our minstrels sing? So many songs& so many subjects!

(pacing the hall as if deep in thought)

I know! How about a song about ME!

THE COURT

Ohhh. Ahhh. Yes, yes, a song about the Duke!

JESTER

Minstrels, you know the one.

(to the COURT)

'Tis a wonderful song with a catchy tune, so feel free to warble along.

SIDE 4

KEENAN

Now, over here we have a variety of chains, locks and thumbscrews, some dating back more than a hundred years to the time of Sir Neb.

KEEPER #1

(addressing the old man crouched in the corner) Hey, Harry, was you around in the time of Sir Neb?

(HARRY turns his back on them.)

Ah, that's right, Harry here ain't uttered a word in forty-seven years, ain't going to start now.

KEEPER #2

He's on talkin' strike. Harry got thrown down here for& What was it for again?

ELF

He said something negative about the Duke's apples.

KEEPER #2

Yeah. Negative. Been in here ever since.

KEENAN

You don't get second chances with the Duke. Even if you're the Duke's own brother!

JACK

Harry is the Duke's brother?

ELF

He was. Now he's just a bag of bones. (all around snickers)

ANNIE

Um, Excuse me, Mr. Dungeon-man, Sir, but& who are all of these people?

SIDE 5

ANNIE

It's okay. Don't cry.

YOUNGEST VAGRANT

I'm sorry. I don't mean to cry. I& I& I just miss me mum and me dad.

JACK

It's okay. It's just& we don't want those guards to hear you&

OLDEST VAGRANT

First Mum got the fever, then it was dad, and they was afraid we'd get sick, too. So they sent us out to find me dad's brother. For him to keep us for a bit.

YOUNGEST VAGRANT

But we got lost.

OLDEST VAGRANT

And we was only looking for work to keep some food in our bellies&

ANNIE

That's terrible.

JACK

I have an idea. Harry, we know you won't talk o the guards, but maybe you'll talk to us? You're the Duke's brother& you must know where there's a secret passage out of here.

(HARRY turns away from JACK.)

OLDEST VAGRANT

It's no use trying. We already asked.

YOUNGEST VAGRANT

Harry's not got the fever, but he's got a heart that's sick.

ANNIE

Is that true, Harry?

(HARRY looks to ANNIE, a hopeless look on his face)

But if you give up hope, then the mean guys win.

SIDE 6

JACK

So, Harry, can you tell us about the secret passage?

HARRY

There are two. One leads to the moat, the other leads to the orchard.

ANNIE

Two! Can you draw us a map of where thy are?

HARRY

If I had parchment and quill I could draw a map of the whole castle. But&

JACK

I have a pencil and paper!

(JACK goes to retrieve his notebook and pen and sees his flashlight in the backpack. JACK turns on the flashlight and tries to hand the notebook and pencil to HARRY.)

And here, so you can see better.

(HARRY and the DUNGEON MATES shriek and shield their eyes!)

HARRY

Child! Tell me, what dost thou carry?

OLDEST VAGRANT

Is it a wand? A magic wand? Like the wizards carry?

JACK

It's just a& oh, right. Of course. It's okay, don't be afraid.

SIDE 7

(A group of KIDS enters. They see JACK and ANNIE peering into the Great Hall.)

YATES

Well, what do we have here?

RIKKI

I ain't never seen them around the castle.

OTHER KIDS

Yeah, we knows everyone works on the premises.

YATES

Couple of beggars, are ya?

BAXTER

Looking for a chance to pinch a piece of pigeon pie?

ANNIE

Pigeon pie& ?

JACK

Shhh.

YATES

Our mother's the cook and she baked them pies herself.

RIKKI

'Til the wee hours of the morning-

BAXTER

So they'd be fresh for the Duke's feast.

YATES

But if you was from around here, you'd know that already.

(The KIDS begin to circle JACK and ANNIE, threateningly.)

KIDS

Yeah. You'd know that already.

YATES

Looks like we caught ourselves some foreign spies!

OTHER KIDS

Yeah, or thieves!

RIKKI

Maybe they come to poison the Duke or steal his jewels.