SIDE 1

(SHARPAY and RYAN pop up out of the rough, wearing camouflage to blend in the landscape. SHARPAY wears a pith helmet on which are glued a huge sunflower and tall grass fronds, and sunglasses that seem to sprout branches. On top of Ryan's helmet is a nest full of eggs; RYAN's face is streaked with green and brown paint. SHARPAY watches the offstage sweethearts through high-powered binoculars.)

Look at Troy and that Montez creature, picnicking right on the golf course!

(RYAN takes the binoculars from SHARPAY.)

What are they having? I'm starving!

Really, I have no idea what anyone sees in her.

Let's see: since coming to East High, Gabriella Montez has won the Science Decathlon, starred in the winter musical, made friends with everyone on campus, and is dating the most popular boy in Albuquerque.

I'm a five-time Star Dazzle Award-winner, have won three Most Innovative Hairdo badges from the official Junior Miss Trendsetters of America Association, and am massively fashion forward.

(SHARPAY moves camouflage greens out of her face.)

(looking through binoculars)
Oh, look, now they're playing tag. Isn't that sweet?

I've been at East High three years; she's been here five minutes. Isn't it obvious that Troy Bolton deserves to be with me?

Someone should tell Troy that before he kisses her.

(snaps open phone and dials)
Not if I have anything to say about it.

("sweetly," into the phone)
Oh hi, Fulton. Daddy wanted me to remind you to give the ninth fairway an extra soak  it looks like a sand trap. Can you turn the sprinklers on like right now? Yes, right now, as in like right now!

Uh-oh, he's making his move

Thanks, sweetie!
(snaps phone shut)
5-4-3-2 and 1.

(We hear the water sprinklers come on, then TROY and GABRIELLA yelling with delight offstage as they are suddenly soaked.)

And the game's been rained out!

Mission accomplished.

(SHARPAY and RYAN retreat into the rough.)

SIDE 2

(CHAD, ZEKE, TAYLOR, MARTHA COX, JACK SCOTT and some other WILDCATS warm up for the employee baseball game. A dark cloud hangs over their heads; there is no joy in Mudville tonight!

There's no way can we beat the Groundskeepers without our Captain.

I can't believe Troy and Kelsi sold out to Sharpay.

We are like so totally creamed corn, dudes.

Yo, a little team spirit! We're all in this together, right?

(depressed)
Creamed corn.

(GABRIELLA runs in, dragging RYAN with her. He feels awkward and out of place.)

Hey, Wildcats! Look, I found our ninth man!

Uhm, hi guys.

No way! Fulton probably sent him down here to spy on us.

Actually, my sister's the one you should be worried about. She was afraid you'd beat her out for the Star Dazzle Award.

We're not going to do it, now that Troy blew us off.

Yeah, "Humuhumu" is out, too, now that Sharpay broke up our act!

Hey, Troy or no Troy, I thought we decided doing the show together would be fun.

I'm up for it!

Me, too! Let's throw down some slickness!

Who are we kidding? We don't know what we're doing.

(pointing to RYAN)
No, but he does.

(EVERYONE is stunned, including RYAN.)

("whoa!")
1-2-3 red light, hello!

If we had a real dancer like Ryan putting it together, the employees could win.

Look, Dancer Boy, you want to hang  grab a mitt and let's play ball.

Dancer boy? Oh, I get it. You don't think dancing takes some game?

(The WILDCATS snicker.)

Be real.

(taking on the challenge)
Okay, if I play ball and help you guys beat the Groundskeepers, then you have to dance and help us beat Sharpay.

News flash, pal: I don't dance.

He really doesn't.

Oh... wanna bet?

(The WILDCATS start their practice, during which RYAN shows CHAD how to improve his "swing.")