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Audition Central: The Musical Adventures of Flat Stanley JR.

Script: Sneak Thief

SIDE 1

STANLEY
I look silly. Don't you have any cool costumes, like a Nascar driver or a cowboy?

NAPOLEON
Darling, this is the Louvre, the greatest art museum in the world.

STANLEY
No cowboys?

LISA
No cowboys.

NAPOLEON
Hurry! I think I hear the thief!

(STANLEY takes his place in the empty frame.)

LISA
Psst. Smile, Stanley.

STANLEY
I don't want to smile.

NAPOLEON
Smile, Stanley, smile!

(STANLEY smiles a huge, toothy grin. The SNEAK THIEF enters.)

SNEAK THIEF
Tonight will be my biggest heist ever! Now which one will I take? Napoleon? Or maybe Miss Mona Lisa?
(noticing STANLEY)
What's this? A new painting! Wow. That's one ugly girl.

STANLEY
Hey!

SIDE 2

SNEAK THIEF
Who said that?
(a beat)
You're hearing things, stay calm. Eyes on the prize. Eyes on the prize. Yes. Napoleon, tonight you and me are going to trip the night fantastique!

NAPOLEON
Do something, Stanley!

STANLEY
Help! Guard! Guard!

SNEAK THIEF
Yipes!

(The SNEAK THIEF freezes like a statue.)

O. JAY D'ART
Bon Jour?

STANLEY
Over here! Help! Help!

O. JAY D'ART
What's this? A painting that speaks?

(O. JAY D'ART dusts the new statue.)

STANLEY
The Sneak Thief is trying to steal Lisa and Napoleon!

SNEAK THIEF
Ah, Choo!

(A chase ensues!)

O. JAY D'ART
Hold it right there!

(The chase continues!)