Script
Audition Central: Thoroughly Modern Millie JR.
Script: Hotel Priscilla Girls
(ETHEL PEAS enters in a panic, waving a tabloid newspaper that boasts a huge headline: "White Slavery.")
"Manhattan's Most Eligible Bachelors!"
No, y'all. The headline! "White Slavery!"
(reading from the newspaper)
"Dozens of girls have been kidnapped, mostly orphans, whose sudden disappearance often goes unnoticed."
(MRS. MEERS enters from her office, carrying a stack of mail. MRS. MEERS is theatrical by nature, always giving a performance, and the warmth with which she treats the GIRLS barely covers the dangerous cunning that lurks underneath.)
But Mrs. Meers, you gotta read this.
No! You gotta read this: it's a telegram. For you, Ethel! Maybe you landed a role!
(ETHEL crosses to the front desk as GIRLS "Oooh" and "Aaah" regarding her telegram. MRS. MEERS distributes mail to GIRLS.)
Don't fuss, Meersie. We'll make you proud.
(GIRLS, minus ETHEL, exit giggling. ETHEL remains at the front desk, seemingly in a state of shock.)
My uncle& ..
(ETHEL hands MRS. MEERS the telegram. MRS. MEERS reads it.)
(picturing the image of bloody Uncle Cy)
What a way to go!
(offering mere lip service as she starts to exit into her office)
Well, my condolences to your family.
I had no idea.
Sad to be all alone in the world!
ETHEL
Girls, have y'all seen the Daily Graphic?ALICE
(zeroing in on a tiny item at the top corner of the front page)"Manhattan's Most Eligible Bachelors!"
ETHEL
(as the GIRLS "Oooh" and "Aaah" regarding the bachelor item) No, y'all. The headline! "White Slavery!"
RUTH
Ethel's right. This is creepy. Listen:(reading from the newspaper)
"Dozens of girls have been kidnapped, mostly orphans, whose sudden disappearance often goes unnoticed."
(MRS. MEERS enters from her office, carrying a stack of mail. MRS. MEERS is theatrical by nature, always giving a performance, and the warmth with which she treats the GIRLS barely covers the dangerous cunning that lurks underneath.)
MRS. MEERS
Sad to be all alone in the world! Though none of you need worry, what with your big, warm families.ETHEL
(indicating the newspaper)But Mrs. Meers, you gotta read this.
MRS. MEERS
(snatching the newspaper away from ETHEL)No! You gotta read this: it's a telegram. For you, Ethel! Maybe you landed a role!
(ETHEL crosses to the front desk as GIRLS "Oooh" and "Aaah" regarding her telegram. MRS. MEERS distributes mail to GIRLS.)
MRS. MEERS
Ruthie, emergency funds from home. Alice, Gloria, Rita, Cora, Lucille, Millie& Millie Dillmount? Where is she?ALICE
Pounding the pavement.RITA
With her head, poor kid.MRS. MEERS
And the rest of you? Why, when I was a young actress, I rose with the rooster GLORIA
(as GIRLS, minus ETHEL, cross to the door) Don't fuss, Meersie. We'll make you proud.
(GIRLS, minus ETHEL, exit giggling. ETHEL remains at the front desk, seemingly in a state of shock.)
MRS. MEERS
What is it Ethel? Not bad news?ETHEL
(barely able to speak)My uncle& ..
(ETHEL hands MRS. MEERS the telegram. MRS. MEERS reads it.)
MRS. MEERS
"Miss Ethel Peas. Hotel Priscilla. Regret to inform you. Stop. Great Uncle Cyrus killed. Stop. In freak threshing accident " Stop!(picturing the image of bloody Uncle Cy)
What a way to go!
(offering mere lip service as she starts to exit into her office)
Well, my condolences to your family.
ETHEL
What family? My parents died when I was a baby.MRS. MEERS
(stops in her tracks) I had no idea.
ETHEL
No brothers, no sisters.MRS. MEERS
Cousins? Aunts? Anyone to keep tabs on you?ETHEL
Just Uncle Cy and me, on a farm in the middle of nowhere.MRS. MEERS
(barely containing her excitement) Sad to be all alone in the world!