Script
Audition Central: Original - Disney's Alice in Wonderland JR.
Script: March Hare
(The WHITE RABBIT enters, late as usual.)
MAD HATTER
Did you say you were late?
ALICE
Only seventy-six times. Not that anyone's counting.
WHITE RABBIT
(showing the MAD HATTER his pocket watch)
See?
MAD HATTER
Well, your watch is slow, silly. Here, let me fix it for you.
(The MAD HATTER grabs the watch and huddles over it with the PARTY GUESTS like surgeons over a patient. The CHESHIRE CAT makes the sound of a heart monitor beeping.)
(MAD HATTER)
Scalpel!
MARCH HARE
Scalpel!!
PARTY GUESTS
Scalpel!!!
MAD HATTER
Forceps!
MARCH HARE
Forceps!!
PARTY GUESTS
Forceps!!!
MAD HATTER
Axle grease!
MARCH HARE
Axle grease!!
PARTY GUESTS
Axle grease!!!
MAD HATTER
Peanut butter!
WHITE RABBIT
Peanut butter?!?
MARCH HARE
Crunchy or smooth?!
MAD HATTER
Hurry, we're losing her!!
WHITE RABBIT
Oh no no no!
MAD HATTER
Bring me the liverwurst!
MARCH HARE
The liverwurst!!
PARTY GUESTS
The liverwurst!!!
CHESHIRE CAT 1, 2, 3
(like Groucho Marx)
This is the worst liver I've ever seen!
MAD HATTER
(like a mad scientist)
Live. Live! I command you to live!!!
(The CHESHIRE CAT makes the flatline sound: The watch is dead!)
Oooops.
(to WHITE RABBIT)
You might want to get a new watch.
ALICE
(to MAD HATTER)
Oh no! You broke it!
MAD HATTER
I know! Wasn't it fun? Let's do it again!!
WHITE RABBIT
Oh nooo! Now I'll never get there on time!