Script

(ALICE bowls into identical oddballs TWEEDLE DEE and TWEEDLE DUM. All three fall down.)

ALICE

Oh, I'm sorry!

TWEEDLE DUM

Oh, how do you do, Sorry! I'm Tweedle Dum.

TWEEDLE DEE

And I'm Tweedle Dee. I've never met anyone named Sorry before.

(The TWEEDLES shake hands with ALICE in an elaborate, confusing manner.)

ALICE

Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm not Sorry. I'm sorry.

TWEEDLE DEE

Oh, how do you do! I'm Tweedle Dee.

TWEEDLE DUM

No, I'm Tweedle Dee.

(The TWEEDLES shake hands with ALICE again.)

TWEEDLE DEE

No, I'm Tweedle Dee. You're Tweedle Dum.

TWEEDLE DUM

Oh, am I? I'm sorry.

TWEEDLE DEE

What a coincidence! So is she!

TWEEDLE DUM

(to ALICE)

Are we related?!

ALICE

I'm sorry?

TWEEDLE DUM

Oh, how do you do! I'm Tweedle Dum.

TWEEDLE DEE

Then I must be Tweedle Dee.

(The TWEEDLES shake hands with ALICE. This is getting tiresome.)

ALICE

Don't you know who you are?

TWEEDLE DUM

(overreacting)

Well, there's no need to attack us!

TWEEDLE DEE

Yes, we've only just met!

ALICE

I thought you knew each other. I'm sor-

TWEEDLE DUM

(cutting her off)

Oh, how do you do? I'm Tweedle Dum.

ALICE

(overlapping, trying to correct the confusion)

I apologize.

TWEEDLE DEE

And I'm Tweedle Dee.

(The TWEEDLES shake hands with ALICE, who is now over it.)

ALICE

And I'm out of here! It's been fun, but I have to find the White Rabbit.

(ALICE tries to leave.)

TWEEDLE DUM

Meeting and running ain't very polite.

TWEEDLE DEE

Don't you have no couth?

TWEEDLE DUM

There's a right way-

TWEEDLE DEE

And a wrong way-

TWEEDLES

To do things!