Script

SIDE 1

BAKER

Hello there, young man.

JACK

(looks at BAKER, scared)

Hello, sir.

BAKER

What might you be doing with a cow in the middle of the forest?

JACK

(nervous)

I was heading toward market - but I seem to have lost my way.

BAKER'S WIFE

(coaching BAKER)

What are you planning to do there-?

BAKER

And what are you planning to do there?

JACK

Sell my cow, sir. No less than five pounds.

BAKER

Five pounds!

BAKER'S WIFE

And if you can't fetch that sum? Then what are you to do?

JACK

I suppose my mother and I will have no food to eat.

(BAKER has emptied his pocket; he has a few coins and the beans in hand.)

BAKER'S WIFE

(loudly)

Beans - we mustn't give up our beans! Well... if you feel we must.

BAKER

Huh?

BAKER'S WIFE

(to JACK)

Beans will bring you food, son.

JACK

Beans in exchange for my cow?

BAKER'S WIFE

Oh, these are no ordinary beans, son. These beans carry magic.

JACK

Magic? What kind of magic?

BAKER'S WIFE

(to BAKER)

Tell him.

BAKER

Magic that defies description.

SIDE 2

BAKER

Yes. I've the cow. We've two of the four.

(MILKY-WHITE continues to breathe heavily.)

BAKER'S WIFE

Three.

BAKER

Two!

BAKER'S WIFE

(pulls the hair from her pocket)

Three! Compare this to your corn.

(BAKER does so and smiles.)

BAKER

Where did you find it?

BAKER'S WIFE

(false modesty)

I pulled it from a maiden in a tower.

BAKER

(looking at hair)

Three!


BAKER'S WIFE

And I almost had the fourth, but she got away.

BAKER

We've one entire day left. Surely we can locate the slipper by then.

BAKER'S WIFE

We? You mean you'll allow me to stay?

BAKER

(embarrassed)

Well... perhaps it will take the two of us to get this child.

SIDE 3

BAKER'S WIFE

(quickly switching gears)

I see you've the red cape.

BAKER

Yes. I've the cape. Only two items left to locate.

BAKER'S WIFE

Three.

BAKER


Two. I've the cape and the cow.

BAKER'S WIFE

(faking enthusiasm)

You've the cape!


BAKER

What have you done with the cow?!

BAKER'S WIFE

(crying)

She ran away. I never reached home. I've been looking for her all night.

BAKER

I should have known better than to have entrusted her to you.

BAKER'S WIFE

She might just as easily have run from you!

BAKER

But she didn't!

BAKER'S WIFE

(contrite)

I'm sorry I lost the cow.

BAKER

I shouldn't have yelled.

(beat)

Now, please, go back to the village.

(BAKER'S WIFE, annoyed, turns her back and begins to walk away.)

I will make things right! And then we can just go about our 
life. No more hunting about in the Woods for strange objects. No more witches and dim-witted boys and hungry little girls.

SIDE 4

BAKER'S WIFE

(moving towards cow)

Oh, she is.

(petting cow)

She is!

(White powder flies about as BAKER'S WIFE pats the cow. BAKER pulls her away as WITCH approaches.)

WITCH

This cow has been covered with flour!

BAKER

Well, we did have a cow as white as milk. Honestly we did.

WITCH

Then where is she?

BAKER'S WIFE

She's dead.

BAKER

We thought you'd prefer a live cow.

WITCH

Of course I'd prefer a live cow! So bring me the dead cow and I'll bring her back to life!

BAKER

You could do that?

WITCH

Now!

SIDE 5

BAKER

Grandmother, hah!


(BAKER draws the knife back, then stops.)

What is that red cloth in the corner of your mouth? Looks to me to be a piece of - ah hah! I'll get the cape from within your stomach.

(BAKER slits the WOLF's stomach, then recoils in disgust.)

LITTLE RED RIDINGHOOD

(stepping out of the WOLF)

What a fright! How dark and dank it was inside that wolf.

(GRANNY emerges from WOLF.)

GRANNY

(wheezing, tries to strangle WOLF, who reacts in pain)

Kill the devil!

LITTLE RED RIDINGHOOD

(shocked)

Granny!


GRANNY

Quiet, child. This evil must be destroyed.

BAKER

(faint)

Well, I will leave you to your task.

GRANNY

Don't you want the skins?

BAKER

No. No! You keep them.

GRANNY

(with disdain)

What kind of a hunter are you?

BAKER

I'm a baker!

SIDE 6

BAKER

Wait. I didn't say-

(JACK exits; BAKER looks at money.)

Five gold pieces! With this money I could buy baking supplies for a year. I could buy a new thatched roof and a new chimney.

(MYSTERIOUS MAN appears from nowhere.)

MYSTERIOUS MAN

But could you buy yourself a child?

BAKER

(startled)

Who are you?

MYSTERIOUS MAN

How badly do you wish a child? Five gold pieces? Ten? Twenty?

BAKER

I've not thought to put a price on it.

MYSTERIOUS MAN

Exactly.

(MYSTERIOUS MAN walks over and takes the gold away.)

The money is not what's important. What's important is that your wish be honored.

(MYSTERIOUS MAN goes around a tree and disappears; BAKER begins darting around trees looking for him.)

BAKER

Come back here! Give me back-

(BAKER sees BAKER'S WIFE, who enters from around

another tree.)

What are you doing here now?

SIDE 7

(BAKER'S WIFE drops to the ground and searches for the bean.)

CINDERELLA

I've already given up one shoe this evening. My feet cannot bear to give up another.

(CINDERELLA begins to leave.)

BAKER'S WIFE

(rising)

I need that shoe to have a child!

CINDERELLA

That makes no sense!

(We hear rumblings from the distance.)

BAKER'S WIFE

Does it make sense that you're running from a prince?

STEWARD

(offstage)

Stop!


BAKER'S WIFE

Here. Take my shoes. You'll run faster.

(BAKER'S WIFE gives CINDERELLA her shoes and takes the golden slipper. CINDERELLA puts on the shoes and exits quickly. STEWARD bounds onstage and looks about.)

STEWARD

Who was that woman?

BAKER'S WIFE

I do not know, sir.

STEWARD

Lying will cost you your life!

(BAKER enters with another cow.)

BAKER

I've the cow.

BAKER'S WIFE

(sees the cow; excited, to BAKER)

The slipper!

(holds up slipper)

We've all four!

(BAKER'S WIFE)

(BAKER'S WIFE runs to BAKER; STEWARD takes the slipper as she passes.)

STEWARD

I will give this to the Prince and we will search the kingdom tomorrow for the maiden who will fit this shoe.

BAKER'S WIFE

(grabs the slipper)

It's mine.

(BAKER'S WIFE and STEWARD begin to struggle. MYSTERIOUS MAN comes from around a tree.)

BAKER'S WIFE

(struggling)

I don't care if this costs me my life-

MYSTERIOUS MAN

(simultaneously)

Give her the slipper and all will-

(CINDERELLA'S PRINCE races onstage.)

CINDERELLA'S PRINCE

I've the maiden's slipper.

(CINDERELLA'S PRINCE produces another slipper.)

STEWARD

And sir, I have succeeded in obtaining the other slipper!

MYSTERIOUS MAN

(to STEWARD)

Give them the slipper, and all will come to a happy end.

STEWARD

Shut up!