Script

SIDE 1

ROOSTER

Hi ya, Sis. Long time no see.

MISS HANNIGAN

Rooster? They finally let you outta prison? What were you in for this time?

ROOSTER

Some old geezer said I swindled him outta eleven hundred bucks.

MISS HANNIGAN

Why'd he say that?

LILY

(ENTERING) 
Because the Rooster swindled him outta eleven hundred bucks.

ROOSTER

Sis, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine from...

LILY

Jersey City!

MISS HANNIGAN

Rooster, do me a favor. Get outta here.

ROOSTER

So who was the blondie I bumped into when I come in? Looked like she had a couple of dollars.

MISS HANNIGAN

She works for Oliver Warbucks.

LILY

The Oliver Warbucks?

MISS HANNIGAN

Annie, one of the orphans from here, is gettin' adopted by him.

LILY

Crummy orphan!

ROOSTER

Yeah, livin' in the lap of luxury while the two Hannigan kids ended up on the skids!

SIDE 2

MISS HANNIGAN

A fifty-thousand-dollar reward. Fifty thousand! What I couldn't do with fifty thousand dollars.
(ROOSTER and LILY, in disguise as RALPH and SHIRLEY MUDGE, ENTER the orphanage hallway)

ROOSTER

(Humbly, as RALPH MUDGE) 
Excuse me, ma'am, are you the lady that runs this here Orphanage?

MISS HANNIGAN

Yeah, whatta ya want?

LILY

(As SHIRLEY MUDGE) 
Ma'am, was you workin' here eleven years ago?

MISS HANNIGAN

Yeah.

ROOSTER

Well, we had a terrible troubles back then and had to leave a baby here. On the front stoop.

LILY

Our little girl. Our Annie.

MISS HANNIGAN

You're Annie's parents? I can't believe it. Where'd you say you come from again?

ROOSTER

A little farm up in Canada where they've got lots of chickens and ducks and geese and roosters.
(HE crows and removes his glasses and hat and LILY pulls off her hat to reveal, in part, their disguise devices. ROOSTER and LILY, laughing and enjoying the success of their disguises, follow MISS HANNIGAN into her office) 
Gotcha, Sis!

MISS HANNIGAN

Rooster! I never woulda knowed it was you in a hundred years.

ROOSTER

Fooled ya, Aggie. And we're gonna fool Warbucks, too.
(Sits in chair STAGE LEFT of desk)

LILY

Get ourselves fifty thousand big ones.

ROOSTER

We need your help, Sis, for details about Annie that can help us pull this thing off.

MISS HANNIGAN

What's in it for me?

ROOSTER

Three-way split.

MISS HANNIGAN

Half.

LILY

Half?

MISS HANNIGAN

Half.

ROOSTER

OK. Twenty-five grand each. But we gotta do it fast. Get the money, get the kid and get outta town.

MISS HANNIGAN

The kid's the problem. What would we do with her afterward?

ROOSTER

No problem.
(Flips open a long switchblade knife) 
When I want something to disappear, it disappears.
(With sleight-of-hand, makes the knife disappear)
For good. We get the fifty grand, we blow this crumby town, and then Lil and me'll meetcha...

MISS HANNIGAN

Where?... Oh, yeah.