Script

SIDE 1

LAVENDER

Matilda, do all those brains in your head give you a headache? I mean it's got to hurt, all squished in there.

MATILDA

No, it's fine. I think they just... fit.

LAVENDER

Well, I'd better hang around just in case they start to squeeze out of your ears. I'm Lavender. And I think it's probably for the best if we're best friends.

(LAVENDER holds her hand out. They shake. NIGEL enters, panicked.)

NIGEL

Hide me! Someone poured a whole can of treacle onto Trunchbull's chair! Someone told her I did it and now she's after me!

MATILDA

That's not fair!

BIG KID 2

Once Agatha Trunchbull decides you're guilty you are squished.

END

SIDE 2

NIGEL

Cat; C-A... F! Cat.

(TRUNCHBULL glares at him.)

I... I got it wrong, Miss. You have to put me in chokey too.

TRUNCHBULL

Whaaaat...?

ERIC

Dog; D-Y-P. Dog. And me.

AMANDA

Table; X-A-B-F-Y. And me.

TRUNCHBULL

What are you doing? What's going on? Stop this!

HORTENSIA

You can't put us all in chokey. Banana; G-T-A-A-B-L!

MATILDA

Bully; P-Y-T-L-F-D-R-V-S-W

END