Script

SIDE 1

CAT

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Seusseby's. Our first item up to bid this evening is lot 39, a pendulous pachyderm on egg, nest, and tree. The bidding will begin at ten thousand dollars. Do I hear ten, ten thousand?

(The CAT improvises with the audience.)

Going once, going twice...

(The CAT bangs his gavel.)

Sold... to the man with the sideburns and the greasy black moustache - oh, excuse me, Madam! Sold instead, to the man from the circus!

END SIDE

SIDE 2

BOY

Now that is a very unusual hat.
I wonder what's under a hat such as that.
It could be a creature they call the Ga-Zat
Who balances things on his head, 'cause it's flat. Or a stripe-loving Pipester from Upper Mount Bat. Or a sort of a kind of a hat-wearing...

CAT, BOY

Cat!

CAT

I can see that you've got quite a mind for your age!

Why, one Think and you dragged me right onto the stage!

Now, I'm here, there is no telling what may ensue...

...with a Cat such as me and a Thinker like you!

(The BOY picks up the hat, and THE CAT IN THE HAT (CAT) suddenly appears.)

END SIDE

SIDE 3

GERTRUDE

So she flew to the Doctor, the Doctor named Dake

Whose office was high in a tree by the lake.

She cried, "Mister Doctor! Oh, please do you know

of some kind of pill that will make my tail grow?"

CAT

(as Doctor Dake)

Tut tut, the Doctor said.

Such talk! It's too absurd!

Your little tail is just right

For your kind of bird!

GERTRUDE

Then Ger - trude had tan - trums. She raised such a din

That fin'lly the Doc tor just had to give in.

END SIDE