Script

SIDE 1

ROGER

Well, if it isn’t our neighbor Cruella De Vil come to pay us a visit!

CRUELLA

What on earth is all that racket? How am I ever going to get my beauty sleep?

ANITA

Why Cruella, what a lovely fur!

CRUELLA

(preening)

Do you like it? It’s a genuine one-of-a-kind – and cost ooooodles of pounds! Now I have nearly completed my collection of every kind of fur coat in the entire world!

ANITA

It’s... lovely. And I am terribly sorry about the noise.

ROGER

The puppies mean no harm.

CRUELLA

Well, just be sure the puppies don’t do it again! I don’t want the yowls and growls of little furry spotted creatures...

(inspiration dawns)

Little furry spotted creatures...

(inspects the PUPPIES more closely)

Why, I don’t think I’ve quite seen anything like them. Look at the depth! Look at the patterns! Why, they’re practically works of art!

(aside)

And just what I need to complete my collection!

(to ROGER and ANITA)

You know what? I’ve changed my mind. I’ve been without a pet long enough. No one to play with. I can’t wait to wear— I mean, care for all the little puppies. I’ll buy the whole litter! How much?

ANITA

Oh, I’m afraid we can’t give them up. Poor Perdita and Pongo would be heartbroken!

CRUELLA

Anita, don’t be ridiculous. You can’t possibly afford to keep them.

(looks around)

You can scarcely afford to feed yourselves.

(chuckles, ripping off a check from her checkbook)

Here’s a hundred for the lot.

ROGER

(indignant)

Cruella, we’re not selling the puppies.

CRUELLA

Oh, surely, you must be joking.

(rips another check)

Two hundred!

ROGER

(intimidated)

No, no, no. I— I— I mean it.

CRUELLA

All right, you’ve forced my hand.

(rips another check)

Three zillion pounds. And that’s my final offer!

ROGER

I’m sorry, Cruella.

(takes a breath, mustering his resolve)

We are not selling a single one.

SIDE 2

BOXER NARRATOR

So life went on at Roger and Anita’s house, and everyone was happy.

SCOTTIE NARRATOR

They thought they had seen the last of their mean and awful neighbor.

POODLE NARRATOR

But what they didn’t know was that she was busy making plans...

CHIHUAHUA NARRATOR

Evil plans... with her two evil henchmen, Horace and Jasper.

(CRUELLA storms on with HORACE and JASPER.)

CRUELLA

What do you mean we’ve run out of fur! We can’t have run out of fur! My pattern calls for a muff and boots! I want my matching muff and boots!

HORACE

Blimey, Cruella! We’ve bought up every Dalmatian puppy in all of London!

JASPER

And there are no more for sale in a hundred miles of here!

CRUELLA

(laughing wickedly)

Who said anything about a sale? My muff and boots are living right next door...

HORACE

But I thought that artsy couple with all the dogs was living next door.

CRUELLA

Exactly, you nincompoop!

JASPER

You mean...

CRUELLA

That’s right! I think it’s time we pay dear Roger and Anita another visit. Come along, boys. It’s time to make our plans...