Script

Side 1

JOSÉ

Hola!

JUNIE B.

Huh?

JOSÉ

Whoops! Hola means hello in Spanish. I know two different languages, and sometimes I forget which one I'm speaking.

JUNIE B.

Wow, José! You speak two different languages?

HERB

Cool!

MAY

Big deal. I know Spanish too. I can count all the way to three in Spanish. Does anyone want to hear me?

HERB

Not really.

LENNIE

Not me.

JOSÉ

Me neither.

SCHOOL KIDS

Nope.

MAY

Uno, dos, tres...


MR. SCARY

Good morning, boys and girls!

SCHOOL KIDS

Good morning, Mr. Scary.

MR. SCARY

This morning I have a fun assignment for you.

(He points to big words on the bulletin board.)

I want you to read these words to yourselves... Then, without talking to your neighbor, choose any word from the list and draw a picture of it.

MAY

Oh, goody, goody! I love this kind of assignment, Mr. Scary! I am perfect at not talking to my neighbor!!!

MR. SCARY

That's nice, May. Are we ready everybody, okay... go.

 

Side 2

MAY

Mrs. Gutzman! Mrs. Gutzman! Junie Jones is trying to hide from you! But I am keeping track of her movements!

MRS. GUTZMAN

Junie B.? Why are you sitting on the floor? I brought something for your class. Don't you want to see what it is?

JUNIE B.

No, thank you. I don't want to see it. And so you can be on your way now, please.

MRS. GUTZMAN

I brought a little something for your class today, but there's no one up there to help me pass it out.

JUNIE B.

There are lots of people to help you.

MRS. GUTZMAN

But I need someone with experience.

JUNIE B.

Alright. But some of these children are still very mad at me, you know.

MRS. GUTZMAN

Yes, well, I think maybe I can fix that.

 

Side 3

SHELDON

No one touch this please. Even though I came back to class today, I am still not totally right up here.

MR. SCARY

Oh, yes, Sheldon. I am very aware of that.

SHELDON

I probably shouldn't play in the kickball tournament on Friday either.

MR. SCARY

Don't worry. I'm sure we can come up with something else you can do in the tournament.

(JUNIE B. puts her head inside her sweater and slumps in her chair.)

You too, Junie B. We'll think of something else you can do too, okay?

LUCILLE

Who cares about kicking a stupid ball anyway? I'm going to be the head cheerleader!

(LUCILLE takes out pom-poms and fluffs her dress.)

MAY

Who wants to be a stupid old cheerleader? I'm going to do crowd control. 'Cause I already have a badge at home. So all I'll need is a big stick to poke people with!

(Everyone looks at her.)

And a gas mask.


MR. SCARY

I don't think crowd control will be necessary, May.

(MAY plops down in her seat, miffed.)

SHELDON

Well, I already know what I am going to do. I'm going to do a halftime show!

MR. SCARY

A halftime show?

SHELDON

Yes, yes!!! 'Cause my daddy used to play in his high school band! And he already taught me how to march and play the cymbals like a real professional band guy!